Aspie Obsessions - Part two

Hello All,

Ah obsessions. 
   Our obsessions such as difficulty in public circumstances and being labeled as 'different or weird' are their lenses the world sees us through.   'Normals'  see everything Aspie-like as somewhat embarrassing to those around us.  All the views from Normal-oids does not bother me and should never bother any Aspie.  

Think of what these obsessions bring us:

1) A very good education that reflects on what we care about almost every day. An acquaintance of mine has recently discovered a real love for physics \ mathematics.  He is doing very well at university because of his obsession that led him to work at what he wonderful obsession he loves.

2) Peace of mind.  Our obsessions are rarely harmful.  Obsession time can be our most peaceful of our days.  Personally, I like to read 'all' the liner notes on albums (OK, CDs but I am old) whether I like the album or not. For instance, I know that bassist Leland Sklar has played with Linda Ronstadt,  James Taylor (2), Diana Ross, Hall & Oates, Jackson Browne, Phil Collins, Clint Black, Reba McEntire and George Strait to name a few.. No one else in the universe may care, I  but I do. Knowing of Leland Sklar has made my musical life better.  (See the bottom of the page.)

   I find enjoyment in listening to his bass lines that are idiosyncratic and like no other.  This makes my listening more complete and joyful. This obsession adds to body my happy life and whatever you want to obsess about do it as long as it is legal, non-carcinogenic and moral (keep track yourself of what that means) happily be obsessive. 

3)  Joy.  Joy can be found in an obsession.  By the time I was 8 I had a collection of over 1000 bottle caps.  Dirty, used, old, scuzzy, probably diseased rittled bottle caps. I  actively enjoyed pouring them out onto the kitchen linoleum floor and sorting them in different categories.  (My Mom let me get away with a lot, but this wasn't one of them -- I was sent outside).
   Dad was shewed. He knew how to handle his "... different kinda son." He ended this bottle cap obsession when he gave me a BB Gun obsession and in killing carp and catfish, "... killing 'em for the good of everyone on the lake."  
   Between the BB Gun, carp and the hot Sun, that summer is still one of one of my finest summers ever. Everyday and most evenings, taking my trusty Range Rider and shooting carp and catfish in the bayous. This was warm joy. I wore out 4 Range Riders before I went home for school.   I ran approximately 4000 BBs each through rifle.  This was an obsession, but it was also pure joy.


Be happy being what we are.  Smile.  Life is to serious to be taken serious.

Greetings My People,

    Welcome to my world, the Asperger world.
    This blog is my take on what being an Aspie is like.  Some of these pieces will be angry (see below). Hopefully the majority of the blogs will be about the lifestyle of Aspies, what we do to have fun, relationships (friends and loves), listen to, what we wear, sports ... basically our every day life. This blog mostly will have a pleasant, smiling spirit.  You see our version of reality is about 15 degrees off plum and that is OK!  We are what we are and anyone that says that 'this is odd' can go ahead and take their opinion and  their horse they rode in on and leave.  Off now with you.  ;-]

   All of that said, here's my first Aspie blog. If you like it let me know at f.glotz@yahoo.com or  if you have brickbats to throw, lemme know about it.
/ / / / / / / / / / / /


    Once again we sit at our MACs (MS10 if you must) and start comparing our lives against 'the normals.' Having our friends go to the mall with us because, "being around crowds makes me ..." Realizing that you are hearing what came out of your mouth was heard at the same as the rest of the room" or calling the Sunday School President a 'moron'.  SOOOO WHAT! HE IS A MORON!

   I am tired of hearing 'normals' telling me that I could cure myself of Asperger's if only if, "I pulled myself up by my bootstraps" or going to a party and have your date say, "Whatever you do, don't start telling anyone about the wonder of prime numbers"  And my personal favorite, "You know that only children watch anime, grow up and be an adult."  And finishing with, "I'm the only adult in this relationship." and again "Grow up!"

Bulls__t!!!  The Aspie _______________

    I oft wonder why our way of doing things is such a threat to the normies. Why do they think that their version of reality is the only correct version.  Why the normies feel so superior because they,"... read a book' about people like you."

    When this happens you probably either move away or let the man know the  legal extent of corporal punishment.  But you never do.  Not to give a plug for violence it just feels that that person should be punished somehow.  But we still just walk away because we know what feels to be hurt by words.  Still, these things hurt a lot and we never show it.

    We are what we are!  If folks don't like what we are, it is their problem

Hello All,

We got our very first comment today, from Vancouver B.C., and I quote, “How can you possibly make fun of a life destroying syndrome.  Asperger’s limits relationships, jobs, self worth, everything! This is a very serious matter.  You should be ashamed!”

+++++++++++++++++++++ My Response +++++++++++++++++++++

Dear[ name redacted],

 I have not \ nor would not make light of any fellow Aspies because:

            0)   I am an Aspie. This syndrome has cost me many employment opportunities and friends.  Finding friends for a Aspie is difficult enough because everyone is an acquaintance. We rarely let folks in.  Friends are few and far between to the point that I have only had two friends in the past 25 years... and one has been my long suffering sweet wife. 

1         1)   More times than I care to remember I have been taken aside by management and told, “As momentarily satisfying as it can be, you should never put 'those guys' [corporate upper management] in a corner.  They don’t like it and they will have their piece of your hide."  The problem here and most everywhere else is that I do not know what I had even said!  
      So, please don't tell me how hard being an Aspie can be.   To quote my mentor at Weyerhaeuser, "If you were twice the communicator and half the designer, you could run  this place. Please get it together!" No I don't know what set that one off either.

      2)  True, I am a high functioning Aspie but I am still enough of an Aspie to have folks whisper behind me, “That guy is so weird! Do you what he said in Sunday School?  Notice that he always sits in the last row? Yeah, but wow!"  Yeah, this bothers me but I really don't care.  Probably should, but don't.

      3) Finally, there are way too many blogs about Asperger’s that approach the syndrome like leprosy.  These surely well meaning folks are so very dour and depressing to read that reading the Bell Jar is considered a high spirited read.

This blog is meant to show the day to day life situations, we all can work with or at least mitigate.

Life is too serious to be taken completely seriously.  

Aspie Obsessions - Part one



Hello All,

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    We have had a couple of three requests for a blog concerning Aspie coping skills.  This will be the first spot next week.  And guys, thanks for reading!   Please sign up as following this blog and more important talk-up the blog.  Everything I say can be found on mainstream psychological dotcoms      -jb
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If there is one consistent item that most of us share are obsessions and G_d love us, we do like to have collections.

We Aspies can have highly-focused interests (spelled ob-ses-sions), that usually start when we are young. In a few cases, they can last a life time and others maybe just a couple of weeks. If you can imagine it at least a few of us is obsessing about.

It is also likely to become attached to objects like figurings, comics and even old pop bottle caps,  – a we collect things.  Aspies often say that these 'interests' are essential to them feel normal and happy. 

Wow! Spoiler alert!
 I am the poster child for obsessive behavior.  Let's just take a couple of lines to list my long list of obsessions:

            1) Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys.  This one started in 1962 when my sister Barbara was fighting with that week's boyfriend and she took me to see the very young Beach Boys instead.  After the concert was over I wanted to be Brian Wilson: not like him, but him!  My sister Barbara promptly dissuaded me of this and explained was impossible So; I settled on buying a lifetime of any album or book that had Brian on it. 

I have maybe 300 CDs and 45 of them are the Beach Boys. When I talk about group I often refer to them by their first names, like I knew them personally.  OK... this one may be a more than little creepy.

             2) I play 5 or 6 musical instruments and I cannot play any of them well.  The longest lasting is the jazz guitar, harmonica, flute, bass, mandolin and piano. 

What happens is that I will hear some music and all of a sudden learning how to play that instrument is the most important thing in the world. Five of these are currently in my closet gathering dust really only the jazz guitar really remains. 

             3) I have a continuous interest in how dishwashers should be loaded.  I mean come on it is the dishwasher must follow the rules of liquid floor. For heaven sake even dishwashers have rules! 

The heaviest of the plates go on the left side of the bottom rack, the lighter plate on the on the right side. Good sized bowls go around the perimeter of the lower rack.   If possible, all the glassware and cups go on the top rack with the smaller bowls going down the middle of the upper rack.  Now I ask, doesn't this make perfect sense?  How could anyone even think they improve on it?  It is the way to load dishwashers that Heaven meant to have.
              Interestingly, this has caused a lot of Aspie disagreement in family et al.

             4) Comics and anime and martial arts films.

 There are few other obsessions, but I will leave those for another day. I guess what I am talking about is that any obsession that is not carcinogenic, immoral to your faith, illegal, or flammable should be no ones business if you are of age.  If we are young kiddies, well we get to do what Mum and Daddie tell us.

I can see this one coming --- I do not want anyone becoming a hoarder.  If a obsession becomes something that disrupts school work, societal or family activities these things should maybe be  re-thought.   

There are few my many obsessions, but I will leave those for another day.  

More in Part Two next week.


           

Greetings My Fellow Aspie-ites,
  
This should have been my first post; so, forgive the order of things.

    Welcome to my world you all.

    This blog is my take on what an Aspie's life is like.  Some of these pieces will be almost angry (see below). However, the majority of the blogs will be about the lifestyle of Aspies, like: 

       1) why \ what we do to have fun is out fun... not theirs,
       2) any relationship,
       3) the here and there a friend (that often takes the shape of simply an acquaintance, the guy down the street who doesn't like your ward robe and tells you so, why a support groups help a bit.  (If not maybe us, maybe the normals around us) , sports ... basically our every day life.  You want a topic email me at the address below.
       4) I hope this blog mostly will have a pleasant, smiling spirit.  Our version of reality is about 15 degrees off plum and that is OK!  Really OK.  We are what we are and anyone that says that 'this is odd' can go ahead and take their opinion and  the horse they rode in on and leave.  Off you go now.  ;-]


    Once again we sit at our MACs (or MS10 if you must) and start comparing our lives against 'the normals'.   Our brain makes us loose this comparison almost every time because we take the opinion of a normal as being the god's truth instead of improving on us ourselves.


Some points I have found out about being just me ...

         *) I dislike having our friends decline to go to the mall with us because, "being around crowds makes you uncomfortable or  " You are a buzzkill and it cuts down on my chick mission."

         *)  Realizing that you are hearing what came out of your mouth at the same time every body else in the room" or replying to the Sunday School President saying, "This man is a 'moron'.
 
         This Aspie-tale has a special meaning to me. A couple of years after 911, where I lost six friends, the Sunday School teacher told us that we should pray for our enemies. I lost it. No yelling, I just went sideways I went into a rant that was second to none.
          I lost work-friends there, I spent most of September and October going to funerals and this guy was telling me I should pray for them?  OK I was rude, but the man is \ was a moron!
          Anyway I continued to hear myself say out loud. After I said, "This man is a moron." I was told that there was an audible gasp then stunned silence in the room.
         Of course, I did not know that the folks around me were hearing everything a second before I was. I went on for 5 minutes about how many ways this Sunday School-man was wrong. I kept on and on and with each sentence I said, my wife, was digging into my leg with her nails.  She was very near to punching through the gabardine slacks when I realized what I had just done. 
         I didn't feel the least bit remorseful because I was right and every body else was wrong.  I could not see anyway that anyone could disagree...  [sigh... ]

     The awful thing is, I felt very sorry for having embarrassed my dear wife so much in public, but I meant what I said.  ;-}     She quickly found a way to forgive me for this an other public idiosyncrasies.  I can't ever know why.
            It was the kind of societal faux pas we wish we would never make, but it will happen again. Expect it.  All the while  I try to find ways to not deeply embarrass my sweet wife...  again.

          I am tired of hearing 'normals' telling us that I could cure myself of Asperger's if  only, "I pulled myself up by my bootstraps" or,
         Going to a party and have your date whisper ever so gently in your ear, "Whatever you do sweetheart, please don't start telling anyone about the wonder of prime numbers and stuff.  No one will know or care what you are talking about."  She then kisses your cheek so tenderly and you log the information for study later. So, you sit quietly and all is well. You later think, "One is a row... I'm hot!"
        And, of course, my personal favorite, "You know that only children watch anime and read comics. "Grow up and be an adult."  And then finishing with, "I'm the only adult in this relationship." and again "Grow up!" You will find this sentence about Aspies any where on the Internet. This normal-help is really common conversation in Aspie-normal relationships.  I will write about it in a next couple of blogs.

    I oft wonder why our way of doing things is such a threat to the normies. Why do they think that their version of reality is the only correct version.  Why do the normies feel so superior because they,"... read a book' about people like you", and now they know everything about us.   Really... ?

    When this happens we  probably either back away or fanaticize about letting the person know the  legal extent of corporal punishment the law will allow.  But you never do. 
    This is not to give a plug for violence, but it just feels that that person should be punished somehow.  But we still just walk away because we know what feels to be hurt \ angered by words.  These things hurt a lot and most of us never really show it.

    We are what we are!  If folks don't like what we are, it is their problem. We will excel and give the normals the truth of what Aspies will provide the world.

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All of that said, here's my second (should have been first) Aspie blog. If you like it let me know at f.glotz@yahoo.com or  if you have brickbats to throw, lemme know about it.
   Oh, BTW the first day of this blog had 500 visitors.  Heaven love you all.

Aspergers Lifestyle

Hello Fellow Aspies,

   I gotta tell you all that I am tired of picking up books and papers running titles like,
1)"Married to an Aspie: Somebody has to be the Adult.  or
2) You Can't Change 'Em -- Why Try?   or
3) I Divorced my Aspie... I just can't Say Why,"
               and titles ad nausem.

It isn't that these folks aren't trying to help the world of 'Aspie-ism' or they mean to worry or upset the 'normals'.  It is that they don't get the fact that (relatively) we high performing Aspies are a society unto ourselves: complete with heroes and villains that affect our lives differently than 'normals' and that difference is simply very cool.  We need to look only look as far as to Einstein, Michelangelo, Michael Jackson and, of course, Sheldon Cooper to see our Aspie mates.

How many of us have had a family member say, "Why can't you just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do like Bill Gates did?  You know, he has Aspersers too."  At this point my first reaction is just to slap whomever is talking to me. But as a rule, I don't.  Family, friends, teachers (FFTs) that won't educate themselves as to what \ who Aspies are don't deserve the time. Our way of seeing the world is ours and just as legitimate as anyone else's.  SO THERE FFTs!

I (a true Aspie) barely can take 'normal clusters' [meaning a group of less that ten] in very small doses. I am more OK to talk to 300 people because I control the show and they are there to see me (!) not the other way around.  This soothes that Aspie spirit that later will almost run to the car so I don't have to talk to any of those 300.

We are a society of people who are hopefully surrounded by people that love us for who we are and not for what they think we can be.  We, as a friend \ self supported group, are not wrong in what we do or the way we do it.  It happily is only different truths we see. We can be part of society of great patient wives, parents or friends and be perfectly happy. However, we can be a society of one and be perfectly happy.  My Dad, Heaven love him, would sit on the stoop and watch me throw a golf ball against the steps. After a hour or so Dad would stand up, stretch, and ask,
    "Why don't you go play with your friends?
    " Don't want to.
    " It can't be that much fun out here by yourself.
    " Sure it is,"  and I would go back to throwing the golf ball against the steps and Dad would go into the house and say, "Lois, can't you do anything about him?"  At that they just laughed at the inside joke.  God love 'em both.  I sure did.

As things go my Dad was pretty well off and he spent a lot of money to have the local psychologists teach me how to look people in the eyes.  That never has really completely taken I guess because when I am upset or feel stress, my eyes go directly on the floor and stay there.  Valorie, my patient and loving wife, has had long discussions with me in which she has rarely seen my eyes.  I am looking at the floor somewhere.

This one idiosyncrasy has cost me greatly in the worlds of career, romance and finance.  More on this later.

TTFN

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  The Next Posts planned are:  ////////////////////////////
1) "I Married to an Aspie: Why did the gods do this to me,  or
2)  I Can't Change my Aspie -- Why Keep Trying?  
3)  I'm divorcing my Aspie... I just can't even say Why,"
4)  So you really do bathe, right?
          If you have other ideas, just send the along to f.glotz@yahoo.com.